Wednesday, August 27, 2008

One Pain Helps Another

Today is the day we take my daughter to school for her freshman year at college. This is a day that we have been working towards for at least two years. As I lift my sleepy head off the pillow I notice that my left hand is in pain. I must have slept on it wrong. I think my hand must have rested under the weight of my heavy heart!

I shower and dry my hair, but it's difficult as my hand is throbbing. I head to Laura's room to check if she is awake and getting ready to head to the airport and my hand is tingly so I rub it to make it feel better.

I remember 18 years back when I attended a birthing class for Moms-to-be at the hospital where Laura was born. They were teaching us techniques for bearing the pain of childbirth by displacing that pain with another kind of pain elsewhere. For those of you who are not familiar with this procedure, it goes like this: to help you not focus on the pain between your legs due to your baby passing through a channel that's too tight, the nurses had our husbands/birth partners inflict pain to another area of our body, such as pinching our feet. I used to call it the 'Sadistic Husband Pain Inflicter' game, as it seemed to me that our birthing partners were enjoying this procedure way too much. As our feet started to throb, we concentrated on our poor feet but we also stopping thinking about the delivery pain and relaxed our breathing, which will allow a better and safer delivery of the newborn child.

My constant attention on the pain of my hand was taking away my ability to focus on the fact that I am taking my youngest child to college, leaving me with an empty nest and ending a wonderful phase of my life.

It's difficult to lift her luggage into the car, close the door to her room or drive to the airport. But I do not collapse and I do not cry uncontrollably and this makes for a more pleasant separation for the both of us. I thank 'someone upstairs' for making sure I use the techniques I learned so early in her life once again.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Distraction for the Day

The Morning after the ‘Bad Dream’

Although they occur less frequently than in the past, I still have the reoccurring ‘bad dream’. Usually, my husband is engaged in some sort of activity that does not involve me or is somehow taking me for granted. Here’s the dream as I remember it from last night:

Bill and I are walking together on a sidewalk in a city that was not recognizable, following three smart-looking young women. They looked like co-workers on a lunch break or heading to a meeting. They are having a discussion when all of a sudden, Bill makes a comment directed towards the blond women speaking and immediately I know they know each other and have some sort of relationship. She does not respond to his comments and continues talking to her friends. I breakout laughing out loud, throwing my head back in a dramatic fashion only to learn that when I’m done, the three women have turned right and are heading down an escalator and Bill has also turned and is following them.

“What just happened?” I say to myself. “Where is he going and who is he following?” Then I wake up.

I apparently have moved all over the bed, because we are now both awake. Bill is frisky and is removing his clothes and wants to have sex. I’m thinking… not after what you just did to me! Wait…that was just a dream. He wouldn’t just leave me walking alone and follow some other female in real life, would he? I turn over on my stomach to regain consciousness while he proceeds on.

In my younger days, I would have told Bill what had happened in the dream; I suppose I was looking for the response, “That’s ridiculous, I would never leave you alone on the sidewalk to follow three attractive, working women, one of which I apparently know well!” I never did get that type of response, so I have since stopped asking. Instead, I talk to myself and reason with myself. At the same time, Bill starts to penetrate and I am happily distracted!